I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
