am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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