glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize