i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
