I understand Curling. That high.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
