That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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