Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
