Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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