she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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