After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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