we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
