Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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