Ketchup is God's man juice
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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