The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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