Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
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I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
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I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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