how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
