dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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