you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
