I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
