i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
