in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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