Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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