you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
