There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
