You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize