But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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