where does the pee come out of this thing
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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