So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
