Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
