hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
