I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
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I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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