so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize