part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize