KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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