: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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