Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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