Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
