That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize