u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid