you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.