I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
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I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
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If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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