Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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