I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
