I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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