Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
