Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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