Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
