I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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