On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
