but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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