if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
