I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
