so that wasnt chicken after all
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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