If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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