margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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