Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
