you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
