weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
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I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
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Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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